The 2 Voices in Your Head: 4 Tips for Controlling Them with a Positive Mindset

We all have that inner voice designed to help us stay alive, avoid discomfort and survive as creatures on Earth. This is the voice you hear when you wake up first thing in the morning, wanting you to stay warm and comfortable and avoid the harsh world of reality.

But there’s another voice; and it’s telling you, “Get up! You must go to _____!”

Life is tough, and we need both voices to help us make good decisions. That survival voice is also the one that keeps us from being reckless and helps us to avoid injury or worse. In time, however, you can train that second voice so well that you do not even hear the first voice competing to convince you to avoid hardship.

A classic quote that explains how to push through some of the typical mental barriers: “Don’t listen to yourself. … Talk to yourself.” Obviously, this must be positive self-talk that guides you to push yourself through pain and discomfort, whether related to work, school or tough military training. Working hard in life becomes a daily habit.

Our primary survival inner voice will ask, “Why are you doing this to yourself?” So you need to have an answer: What is your “why”? When your will is tested, the voice needs to be something you control, not listen to.

We often see examples of this internal conflict, and it is mesmerizing. Consider athletes who push through injuries or setbacks to win major competitions. Take the story of an ultramarathon runner who faced physical exhaustion but finished the race through sheer willpower and toughness. These examples illustrate that mental toughness is about perseverance, not just physical ability. The voice inside says, "I can keep going," even when the body protests.

David Goggins, a former Navy SEAL now famous for his mental toughness over physical pain and injury, says: “When you think you are done and have nothing left, you still have 40% more.” This mantra becomes part of his internal dialogue when others are quitting around him. He is still going, finding fuel when the tank is empty.

Ultimately, building mental toughness is an ongoing journey and a toolbox of strategies to develop the habits and discipline needed to overcome life’s challenges. Embrace both voices, know when the inner voice wants you to rest or take it easy, and have an answer to keep moving, if needed. This voice you use to speak to yourself must come from a positive mental mindset.

Here are some actionable tips to help you develop mental and physical toughness and create a positive mindset:

1. Establish a Routine

Routines create structure and reduce uncertainty, enabling you to focus your mental energy on overcoming challenges. This is where habits are made, and discipline ultimately is formed. You cannot do this without going through the process of building discipline. The steps look like the following:

• Inspiration
• Motivation
• Setting a routine
• Building habits
• Continuing to be consistent even when you don’t feel like it
• Creating discipline

We all find an initial inspiration toward achieving something. We are highly motivated at first to get started, but motivation does not last long. While motivated, set a routine and build good habits. Be consistent with these habits when energy levels are low and you do not feel like getting out of bed that day. But you do anyway. This is discipline created by a series of events that will make you tougher and more confident in your abilities. This is how you add an extra scoop of mental toughness to your life each time you do this series of steps.

2. Practice Gratefulness

An attitude of gratitude helps you stay present, reduces the volume of the voice that wants you to stay safe and limits your discomfort about future challenges. Even a few minutes of deep breathing and saying thanks can ground your thoughts. Remember, things can always be worse. If you acknowledge being thankful for little things such as food, water and a place to sleep, whatever is in front of you becomes less of an obstacle and more of the way forward. This mindset has immense power moving forward, and you will see that your success is rooted in it.

As Marcus Aurelius said, “What stands in the way becomes the way.” This is a powerful, stoic message to keep moving forward, regardless of what lies ahead. You can get through this. I am grateful for these obstacles in my life. Consider reading Ryan Holiday's book about the Stoics, “The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph.”

3. Visualize Success and Celebrate the Smallest of Victories

Picture yourself successfully navigating your challenges. Visualization is a powerful tool that can prepare your mind for real-life situations. Using the thinking part of the brain when stressed with discomfort or pain is a valuable method to “go to a happy place” when needed.

Often when we are overly stressed, we are not thinking. We are reacting and surviving. Focus on a few minutes of deep breathing and picture reaching the objective or the end of a challenging day and relaxing. Think about what and how you will relax later in the evening. Eat a nice dinner, take a shower, stretch, etc. All of these are easy things to envision and can take you out of a moment of fight or flight and help you engage the thinking part of the brain. Control the narrative in your head.

4. Seek Support, Coaching and Mentorship

Someone you may know directly or indirectly has likely “been there, done that.” Find and surround yourself with positive, supportive people. Learning what not to do is often better than knowing a play-by-play script to succeed. How many things go as planned in life anyway? Sharing your struggles can lighten your emotional load and encourage you when setbacks occur. Soon, the guidance you receive can help you avoid future setbacks but never prevent you from continuing because you know the struggle is part of the journey.

The Military.com Fitness Section has many related articles that involve physical fitness training and the mental aspect of doing difficult things in life. Check out the articles on evolving discipline, building mental toughness, mitigating stress and more to help you take your resilience to new levels.

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