Dear Ms. Vicki,
My husband has been a Marine for almost 20 years, however, this is the second marriage for us both. We have only been married for three years and I still don't know that much about military rules. We have three young children, boy/girl twins that are three and a one-year-old baby girl. I love my husband a lot but we also fight a lot.
I would really like to go to marriage counseling. He says we cannot go because he would lose his security clearance for his job with the Marines. So I said I would go to therapy by myself and he said that wouldn't work either -- that he would still lose his clearance. Please help!
Sometimes I feel like our marriage is great but other times I feel like we need some counseling. I don't want a divorce but I don't know what else to do. I really do love him and want it to work for our children's sake. I would really appreciate it if you could offer some advice!
Thank You,
CK
Dear CK,
If either you or your husband goes to marriage or individual counseling it will not affect his security clearance. I proposed this question to several Marines and my husband too. Everyone said they are never asked questions about counseling on their security clearance updates. On the other hand, I can understand your husband's concerns. He probably doesn't want anyone from his unit to find out that he is talking to a professional therapist.
I recommend that you contact Military OneSource at 800-342-9647. They will connect you with a therapist in your local community. The services are free. I applaud your willingness to seek services even if your husband does not want to. It's important for you to feel supported, gain insight and information and even grow personally too. I wish you all the best. Thank you for taking the time to write to me. Stay in touch.
Sincerely,
Ms. Vicki
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Hi Ms. Vicki,
I am a divorced spouse of a veteran who is disabled. I am 60 years old and disabled as well, but been denied Social Security benefits which I am appealing. However, I live in a different state than my spouse, I am unable to work, and live on alimony. Recently, I was told that I could get health care through the VA. Is this true and how do I go about getting any help? I have three teeth that need to be pulled along with other medical problems. I have no health care right now and need it badly. Thanks for any help you can give.
God Bless,
LZ
Dear LZ,
This is a very important question. It deeply saddens me to know that people are living without health care, especially when they really need it. I won't definitively answer the question for fear of giving you the wrong answer - I would just advise you to please contact the VA by phone or visit their website for more information (800-827-1000 or www.va.gov). When you get your answer please write to me and let me know. It will be good information for me and my readers to pass on to others.
Sincerely,
Ms. Vicki
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Dear Ms. Vicki,
My husband is been retired from the Air Force and now he wants a divorce. I am his third wife. Because of the divorce, I'll be losing the Tricare Prime health insurance. Is there any hope that I can retain these benefits? His first wife, who was with him during his military service, waived her allotment to his military retirement pay and TRICARE insurance.
Sincerely,
Soon To Divorce
Dear Soon,
Thank you so much for your letter. To my knowledge, you will not be able to retain the health care benefit after the divorce. However, please contact TRICARE for more information and let me know what happens. I hope you are well and I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. The number for Tricare is 877-874-2273.
Sincerely,
Ms. Vicki
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