Now that you are really married in the whole for-better-or-worse sense of the word, what do you wish you knew? In a post about her book 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Saying I Do, Dr. Laurie Weiss listed seven things women wish they knew before they got married:
1. I wish I had known what marriage is really like.
2. I wish I had known more about myself.
3. I wish I hadn't been in such a hurry so I could have taken the time I needed.
4. I wish I knew how much family patterns could influence us.
5. I wish I'd known bad behavior can get worse.
6. I wish I'd paid a whole lot more attention to money.
7. I wish I'd known what it really takes to make marriage work.
The list seemed kinda sad to me. In fact, the only thing on that list I would have said was that I wish I had paid a whole lot more attention to money. That was enough to make me wonder if we military spouses had our own list of What I Wish I Knew Before I Married into the Military. As a starter, I offer here my own list of seven things. I can't wait to see your version:
1. I wish I paid a whole lot more attention to money. I thought a paycheck every two weeks and a credit card with no balance meant we were rich. I had no idea the city would make us pay for water. Doesn’t water fall from the sky?
2. I wish I knew that you can’t actually kiss someone 24 hours a day. Somebody has to get up occasionally and do a couple of loads of laundry.
3. I wish I knew how hard it was going to be to finish my degree. I only had a semester left to finish in my Bachelors Degree on the day I got married. I really did think any college would accept my credits or that my own school would accept credits from another school. My mother cried at my graduation — she didn’t think it would ever happen. By that time, neither did I.
4. I wish I knew that loneliness is a physical sensation that you can carry for months at a time. Now I know loneliness is a deployment accessory -- like wearing a heavy coat in August.
5. I wish I knew how to speak Japanese. Why did I take French in school? No one in the military is ever stationed in France.
6. I wish I knew how important sex can be in a long relationship. I would tell you more, but my mom reads this blog, so you are going to have to ask someone who seems really, really happy. Like my mom.
7. I wish I knew just how it would feel to be married to someone for 25 years. I wish I knew then that we would actually get closer to each other, more knit together. I wish I knew how it would feel to wake up in the morning and have a full life -- kids, jobs, dogs, houses -- with the one person you love best in all the world.
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